It was late, and I was talking to my ex (may I say the most understanding person in the world, and most patient that he has ever been with me) and we broke up of about almost half a year ago, for various reasons. And I was having a problem and I was so amazed of what kind of reaction he had towards it, although he told me that it felt like I cheated on him, but were not together. So anyways, he said something late yesterday night that really shocked me, but not because Ive never heard him say that, but because of how I took and how I felt AFTER he said it.
After I told him how bad I felt and ashamed for what I did, he told me that we all make mistakes, and that we have to learn from them. He told me that he still loved me, and that he cares alot for me, obviously that he wants me back. But then he said "...you have to promise me it wont happen again, because if it does, Im not gonna care anymore, and Im not gonna be there anymore, and as much as its gonna hurt me, Im going to have to let you go for good...". Im not arguing or saying that he didnt have a reason to say that. I understand that, cus if I were in his shoes and feeling what he feels, Id pretty much say the same thing.
Now, here comes the wierd part about me...I felt....down? I felt sad and lost....I realized that Id be nothing without him, that i wouldnt have anyone else there to care or to just have so much patience and love for me. And Ive asked him many times if its real love he feels, he has said yes many times, but now his answer is like a different one but really makes me feel like he really DOES love me now. Im wondering why am I feeling like I did when he said that, is it real love? Or is it that Im afraid of being alone? Does it look like, from your judgement, that I still love him? I know I havent gotten over him, but if I didnt love him, I think I wouldnt been feeling like this and would of though and told him "Well you should of let me go and forgotten about me a LONG time ago, I dont know why your telling me this now.." But I didnt say that, or think that. At that moment when he said that I felt like.....my world cracked a bit, and like I would feel empty if he wasent there.
In the end, I kept thinking 'What is this that Im feeling?' and I cant seem to figure out what exactly it is or what to call it. Im being nuetral about it, Im not stressing over it, I just want to know what it means, or if its love, or if its just something Ill get over. Your all more then welcome to judge or give opinions out, I will be happy to read them.
Not registered?
Create an account