I lose my best friend today

Instead of crying, because Ive cried enough over her already, I just want to sit and think about it.
and why do I feel the need to let a bunch of strangers know of my pathetic situation? Perhaps I don't care anymore? Perhas i've had enough? I don't need her if she wants to drop our friendship like its that simple. but yet it makes me hurt to know that this was one of the very few people who I let know me even when I didn't like myself. at some of my worst times I ran to her for sympathy and she helped me feel better. this person who knows all of my deep dark secrets and shares a couple with me too.
I never listened when everyone told me to not be roommates with your bestie... I honestly thought they were all just trying to scare me out of it... and now... I see that sometimes things just don't work out the way we plan them to.
it just baffles me how a relationship like this, one that seems it would last forever, would just break and die on the floor.