Love Exists.

2/20/12

I have always wondered the true wonders and perks of being in love, now about 363 days from today I had stepped into my first relationship. Let me tell you, it was one of the craziest rides in my life. I never had expected to "fall in love" so fast and trust in someone so much. But as months passed by things were collapsing, we ended it, and I found out a week later he had already had another girl in mind after we had broke up. I went CRAZY. I had felt betrayed and extremely hurt, especially when it was one of those things I suspected. See, I have had this awful gut feeling a month before and from there we were at constant battle, fighting and losing sleep over each other. Also, not to mention he had been working with her all summer and constantly talking about her. He had a troubled and almost unfortunate soul, just like any other teenager. I felt like it was my job to mend it and listen and care for him and try to have him open up. But then all I wanted to do destroy it. After two months of constant hell I finally cut him off from my life. And as he still constantly tries to get a hold of me I just can't. I did not only lose someone who could hold me tight and kiss me passionately but my best friend. But, I guess in the end of it all he really wasn't what I needed in for a friend. He didn't make me feel any better about myself other than helping him through things, which he later admitted in saying it wasn't as effective as some other people were (which without a doubt tore my heart out), so as four months went by after our eight month relationship ended, I could only laugh at the fact his current girlfriend messaged me a little too late, and that to this day he still tries to rekindle our friendship. But what do I want? Do I want him to suffer and be miserable? No. I just want to be happy with myself. And I know deep in my heart that love exists and maybe I don't know what that exactly is but I'm going to keep an open heart and an open mind despite the things that have happened in the past.

Best wishes,
Sharon