2/20/12

Last night my best friend and i were laying in bed and we had a deep conversation. About my boyfriend. Like I said, I am in the closet. To mainly my family and him. I did care about him at one point, but last night our conversation got me thinking alot. Him and I what feels like to me have only an affectionate bestfriend relationship. What else can explain that? what more can i think? We have been together for over a year, and have never had sex and the cloest sexual thing we have done was his hands explored very little. We never actual go do anything special. I have cheated on him with girls and he knows i have and is still with me. I can tell he is truly fighting for me still and does everything he can to keep me. I havent left him because I am afraid i wont ever find someone that cares like he does. Him and His family have always been there for me and i love his family to the max. I know it would be hard to see him with someone else and someone else being involved with his family. And I know the ex girlfriend couldnt stick around. So what am I suppose to do about this? It breaks me to know I am hurting him. Today I am going to his house.. I think its time for a talk.