"I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby."

First of all, I'm obsessed with the song in the title. It's called Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus. It's a really funny song and describes high school for me.

I'm a junior in high school. I'm halfway done with high school and the thought of that scares me. I don't want to grow up. I dont want to decide my future. I want to stay right here in junior year with all my friends forever. Some of my friends have started talking about how they want to go to school in Colorado, Florida, etc and I just sit there and say nothing because I have. I idea what I want to do. But I don't want them to go so far away that I can't see them and stay in touch with them.

I'm also sick of the male species. Or creatures if you will. What gives them the right to lead you on and give you hints that they like you, then just ignore every word you say and avoid you at all costs? You could be like, "Well what did you do to make him run away?" that's the thing. I literally did nothing. I just talked to him every now and then. One of my best friends (not sure she still is...) likes him too and he found out. He said at first that he didn't like her. I went away for one weekend and they went out to see The Vow. That made me so mad.

It would literally kill me inside if they ever dated. Having to see them being so couple-y and sweet or whatever would make me miserable. My two best friends at the moment are trying to convince me that he doesnt like her, he only went to the movies with her because his other friends were going. The bottom line is he went. I asked him to hang out and he always lies to get out of it.

If he didn't like me, he could've just said so. I would respect his honesty and move on. But no, he made me think he liked me and set me up for heart break.

This is why I am giving up on liking anyone at the moment. I'm not putting any effort in if the guy isnt. It's not worth the waste of time. But if a guy tells me he likes me, I'll give it a shot. But I'm done making the first move.