Just realized that I have lost my best friend....I'm gonna be sick..

I don't know why I held on for so long, she just keep saying she was sorry, she just keep lying, and pushing me away. I even tired to tell her 100 times. Why? Why did I keep giving he second chances? Well I cant answer that, sadly. But today, for some reson, it just hit me like a brick wall. There were so many sines too!! I"m so stupid!! I Just kept hurting myself, giving her second chances. And now, now that I realize my former bestist, closeist friend, wants nothing to do with me, it hurts, I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart, instead of the back. I feel like I'm gonna be sick, but it's not just because she's not my friend any more, she's changed so much. Now it seems like she's programed to hurt me. She is always hating on my favorite band, the band that change my life!! And she is just so mean to me, and some times I want to be just as mean, I want to punch her until her nose bleeds sometimes. But I can't. It's just not in my nature, but i can feel that one day it will happen. One day I will snap.

But right now, I'm going to my Basket Ball Finals, and I feel terrible, I DONT want to feel like this, especially if she's trying to cause it. Can some one help me, i feel really sick?