Wondering and Wandering

I'm sick of pretending. I learned exes can never be friends again. My ex I tried so hard to be nice to is now at my throat with below the belt insults. I bottled my anger until it boiled over and has yet to simmer out. I have a BOYfriend. How it happened? I honestly couldn't tell you anything other than that he makes me happy and dull my anger and pain. Oh and I got a cut on my leg that is infected. It hurts and i wanna scratch it!-_-
I don't know at what point in time it happened but I'm watching my friends get happy and find their niche. I feel like I'm watching them run off and get married because I'm frozen and they move on. Gleen helps but only until I'm alone.