Fear

My little Izzy's finally here. Instead of pure happiness I find myself wondering how we're gonna survive. Dusty wants to move to Oklahoma, away from all of our family. It seems like a possible event for the future but now he's practically demanding we move right now. He's taking a job at Sonic over actually looking for a decent job, He'd rather flib burgers to pay for diapers for his baby then have a decent job. I'm so afraid I'll agree to go and I'll end up stuck up there. I have no license and no car. He says he's going and he's taking Izzy with him. If she goes, I'm going. There's no way I'm leaving my baby. I'm happy with the way things are right now. We have my mom to help with Izzy and a place to live, clean water, a nice place for Izzy to be. Now he wants to fuck everything up and go live in a room at his friends house....they all smoke pot together....I'm so afraid CPS will find out and take my Izzy away. If I lose my baby I don't know what I'll do. I can't tell Dusty because he won't understand. He'll think I'm overreacting or I'm being stupid. I went through getting taken away and I won't put her through that.