Fall Out at the Disco!

In May 2005, I was eight years old. I was the kind of child that listened to music all the time, I had a vast collection of Cd’s, some borrowed off my older brother. I wasn’t much of a Rock music fan at all excluding listening to Nirvana, Sum 41, Good Charlotte, Blink 182 and Jimmy Eat World who were all considered relatively ‘Mainstream’ in the early 2000’s. I was more into the music that was in the charts, most of which was Rnb However one day I heard a song on the radio, this song was ‘Sugar we’re going down’ by a band called Fall Out Boy. From the opening of the song I was mesmerized, I then saved for weeks until I was able to afford to buy the whole album of ‘From Under the Cork Tree.’ I studied the album for about four months. I idolized those four men and everything about them. In the late September I noticed on blogs etc. that Pete Wentz had signed a band and their debut album had been released. I had no interest in listening to any other band though so carried on in a haze of Fall Out Boy. However by early 2006 I came to realize just how wrong I was to have done this. Now aged nine I was an avid watcher of Mtv, and one day a song of a similar genre to Fall Out Boy appeared on my television screen. It was a circus themed wedding with an interestingly dressed singer. I didn’t understand the video at the time but I found myself to be amazed by the music and the unusual theme and the strange clothes. I went on to the internet to discover that it was the very band I had disregarded months before. It was Panic! At The Disco, the song I Write Sins Not Tragedies. So, yet again I saved and bought their album, this album being ‘A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out’. Flowers and mismatched women adorned the dark cover. The track list listed songs in a way I had not seen since ‘From Under The Cork Tree’ I saw the likeness to Fall Out Boy and knew then that this band was special. Listening to the songs, I didn’t understand most of the lyrics, the words were complex, confusing and intricately written, something that most music didn’t have. The band staring at me from the cd case confused me, they dressed differently to anyone I had ever seen. Brent, Brendon, Ryan and Spencer. After listening to this album I again was addicted to an album. Addicted and amazed. Who knew music progressed from Fall Out Boy? And the fact that Panic! Were so involved with Fall Out Boy made my heart swell. Then came the release of more videos from the band, they confused me, a lot. Some may say it was strange of a nine year old to be listening to music of the sort when my friends were listening to R Kelly, Snoop Dogg and Usher. I remember once I was listening to the song ‘Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have without Taking Her Clothes Off’ and my mother hearing the curse words and thinking it was atrocious but I was amazed by it. I watched their live shows on You Tube, the dancers, the costumes; the whole obscenity of their shows was so unique that I just couldn’t seem to get them off my mind. In 2007 the band played my home town, I wanted so much to go but unfortunately I was still only ten years old and four years too young to get into my local music venue. Then came the release of Fall Out Boys ‘Infinity on High’ I was living on a solid diet of Fall Out Boy at this point due to the release of the more mainstream ‘Infinity On High’ and their growing fame and popularity. Then after a quiet year from the Panic! 2008 bought the promise of another great album with a change in band members. I got so excited by the prospect of new songs to listen to because after just under two years of listening to the same thirteen songs I was anxious to listen to something else. I had gone off the radar from the internet by then, I had lost touch with the blogs etc. so I hadn’t heard any of the demos or the release of ‘We’re So Starving’ when Pretty Odd landed on my door step. I remember getting home from school and seeing the album I had forced my mother to order. I stared at it though, confused. The album was bright, the flowers from the last album had grown everyone and out of control, all surrounding the words ‘welcome to the sound of Pretty Odd’ I was intrigued to say the least. Opening the album I noticed the lyric book looked more like art than lyrics, the song titles had changed dramatically. The whole album had such a happier look about it; it was like someone had captured summer in a plastic album case. But then I was in for a shock. Expecting heavier riffs and the heavy bangs of drums I was met with a mellower, acoustic sounding album. I was surprised by the monotonous voice of Ryan Ross seeping into the songs. But most of all I was disappointed. At the tender age of ten I didn’t understand this music. It was so different, I was shocked. I didn’t hate the music I just couldn’t connect with it. The music videos were still fantastic, the costumes and videos of live shows but I just couldn’t seem to relate to this album in any way. It made me lose interest in the band and soon enough I put the albums away to rest. I barely listened to panic! At The Disco. That was until the release of Fall Out Boy’s ‘Folie A Deux’ and album in which Brendon Urie featured on two songs. I rediscovered just how great his voice really was and ‘A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out’ became my favorite album yet again. I watched as Fall Out boy crumbled under the pressures of what was considered by critics as a ‘failure’. The album to me had always been great though, I was proud of it and I loved every song on the album. But it seemed the stronger the music seemed to me the weaker the band became under the pressures. It seemed that behind the vintage shirts that the same happened to Panic! At The Disco. On July 6th 2009 the band announced their split. The day they split I cried for hours because even though I had not enjoyed their newer music I still loved the so very much and they meant so much to me. Thankfully though, not long after Spencer and Brendon announced that they would be carrying on the band. The release of New Perspective made me love the band again and I realized that they weren’t too bad still; they still had the elements I loved. Not long after though Fall Out Boy announced their hiatus. I remember it being 10pm on a school night and I was saying good night to my family when my dad pointed to the TV. On the TV was MTV news, flashing along the screen was the words ‘Fall Out Boy Announce split’ im not exaggerating when I say that those words broke my heart. I cried myself to sleep that night and for weeks after. I was mourning in a way. That is until I was given some hope; the band squashed rumors of a split and instead said they were on Hiatus. We were given some promise of a future with Fall out Boy. For a year or so things were very quiet. Until winter 2010 when Panic! Announced they would be releasing their next album Vices and Virtues in March 2011. I counted down the days; I was nervous, so very nervous about this release. I wasn’t sure what to expect after their last album. When March rolled around though I was pleasantly surprised. The album was perfect. Not one song on there was not amazing. It sounded like a mix of AFYCSO and Pretty Odd and something new. It was happy. The music video for ‘The Ballad of Mona Lisa’ and ‘The Overture’ both bought back the theatrics of the first album that I loved so much and both Brendon and Spencer looked so happy. And then along came Dallon and Ian, who to this day, I still don’t know much about but I know that they’re a great asset to the band. There was a lot of bitchiness between panic! Fans on the internet by now. Some saying that Brendon had ruined the band, he was cocky, arrogant, they hated the new stuff and the thing I hate hearing the most ‘They aren’t panic! Anymore.’. I found it all laughable. They’re still the same band just split in half! It was in the Autumn of 2011 that Panic! Announced a UK tour. I had to go, I wanted to go so much that I wrote my dad a six page letter explaining why he should drive me and a friend two hours to Birmingham to go see them on a night before a big Science exam on the 29th January. And thankfully he agreed. He remembered just how much I have loved that band. So with the upcoming concert looming ever closer I decided to give ‘Pretty Odd’ another chance. This time though I surprised myself. This time I managed to see the influences, I realized the significance of the lyrics, the way Ryan and Brendon’s voices complimented each other perfectly. The album was a work of art. It took me nearly four years to realize it but it was amazing. The lyrics stuck in my head and the obscurity of the whole album fascinated me once again. Now the vintage sounding songs signified beauty and harmony and put me at so much peace.

So after three months of studying all three albums over and over I knew all the words and was on the way to the show. Once inside we secured our place in the crowd, relatively towards the back. The friend I had gone with was not a Panic! fan and was there only for me so I didn’t force her to go into the crowd and feel all awkward. When the first support band finished and the crew set up the stage set I recognized all the theatricalities coming to life. I was enthralled by the piano, the flowers, the decorated backdrop. It was such a beautiful, delicate stage set. As the band came on to the stage with the song Ready to Go I bawled my eyes out an embarrassing amount. I had been waiting six years for this and finally it was here. Spencer sat happily at his set, a giant smile on his face, Dallon and Ian at either side of the stage bouncing along to the music they were playing and then there was Brendon. He seemed so different to the old videos I had seen where he hung at his microphone. Here he was running from one side of the stage to the other, pointing at the crowd, jumping around, and full of energy. The giant smile plastered on his face in that moment was enough to make me realize just how much the split had changed this band. They were so much happier now, confident and doing what they wanted to do. It was magical to witness. A few songs in I took time to look at my surroundings and noticed just how strange the mixture of people around me was. On my right was a couple in their mid to late forties, holding on to each other singing the lyrics and bouncing along. In front of me was a group of people my age, dancing. And to my left were two men who were as touched by the show as me. They must have been in their early thirties but there they were, dancing along and singing along at the top of their voices to every single word to every song, both of them crying, just like I was. I then realized that these men were holding hands, they were gay. I am not a homophobic person but this shocked me. I had never been to a gig before where people had been openly homosexual and not afraid to show it. During the encore break one of these men spoke to me. He asked me how long I had been a fan and how I had gotten into them, I explained to them and then I asked them. The man then told me the story of how they had met at a Panic! show in 2007 and had gotten married last December, their wedding song had been ‘Northern Downpour’. The story made me cry again. I told the men how inspirational I thought they were for not being afraid to show their love even though it is still so frowned on in today’s society. They replied that I was all due to Panic! and that they were thankful to them for creating such a unity between them. The band then came back on to the stage and performed their last few songs. Me and everyone around me were going crazy and the set ended on back flips and cries from the crowd.

On the way home that night I was speechless. I realized just how much the band had affected a lot of people’s lives. They gay couple had been so thankful for the band. Panic! in all their time as a band have created an atmosphere in which everyone feels like they can be themselves, they make people more confident and they make people feel like a family. That gig changed my perspective on Panic! yet again, I realized just how many lives they have touched as well as mine. Since then I haven’t been able to get that gig off my mind. I had waited so long for it and they did not disappoint.

To this day I am still waiting for news on Fall Out Boy, I am yet to see them live again but im sure if I ever do they will meet the high standards of Panic! I just want to say thank you to Fall Out Boy for without them I’d still be the kid who listened to chart music and didn’t know good music. I wouldn’t be the same me as I am today and also a thank you to Pete Wentz for taking a chance on four boys from Las Vegas. I am eagerly waiting for the fourth Panic! Album they have announced they are currently writing and hope both bands the best of luck and happiness for the future.

Believers Never Die.