Well that was awkward.

Ugh. I'm so mad at myself right now.
Last night there was a worship team dinner. My family left a dish at the house where they had the dinner, so my mommy got a hold of the host to ask my crush to take it with him so he could give it to me tonight at book club. Before she called their home phone though, I'd called his cell phone. He didn't answer, so I just let my mommy handle it.
He called me back last night and of course it was as SOON as I left my room without my phone, and since it wasn't really all that important I didn't call back.

So this afternoon he called again.

I'm already terrible at talking to people on the phone. I'm awkward and weird, and phone calls just emphasize that. So I'm trying to be remotely calm even though I'm freaking out because he called (even though it was just to figure out a delivery plan for the dish), and my brother and I are on our way to the grocery store so we're just leaving the house. Halfway up the street from my house, my mommy's cat randomly jumps in my lap while my brother is driving. I start busting up laughing while I'm still on the phone, and it just went downhill from there. Because he'd already told me that he wasn't going to be at book club since it's his mom's birthday, so he could drop it off at my house on Thursday since he has worship practice that night. The plan was already set. I should have just said "Ok, that sounds good" and the call should have been over. But no. It somehow got dragged out, and the cat appeared out of nowhere, and I probably sounded like the biggest idiot ever.

I'm just... mortified. I'm so embarrassed it's ridiculous. Because he's just started showing solid signs of liking me and actually DOING something about it. He sat with me at church on Sunday. He was on worship team this weekend, so he waved when I got there like usual. I gave up hoping he'd sit with me first service a long time ago, just because I sit in the second row right in the middle. It's seriously front and center.
So worship ends and I'm sitting right in front and all of the sudden he comes up the center aisle, turns into the row I'm in, and sits down two chairs over (guess who won't be putting her purse in the chair next to her EVER AGAIN). I'm trying not to freak out at the fact that he's voluntarily sitting with me during first service when I'm right in front. But... it was pretty exciting. He didn't even say anything, obviously because it was during service, but still. And then when it was time for worship again he got up and went back up on stage. I didn't really get to talk to him that much yesterday actually. We talked a bit at the dinner, but that was it.

I'm just hoping I haven't completely terrified him. One of my friends said to think of it as endearing, and I'm hoping that's how he sees it because to me it's just horrifying. I guess I'll find out though. I won't see him when he stops by on Thursday unfortunately, I have class until almost 9PM so unless he stops by AFTER worship practice I'll have to wait until Saturday.