A review of 'Feeling This', as written by Carlyumz

Carlyumz has written a really lovely review of Feeling This and after that severe confidence knock I got last week, its really amde me feel better about my writing.

Hi LJ (Yes i stalk the PLOTB), i just finally finished reading the story and bloody hell! I was meant to go to bed ages ago but i couldn't tear myself away and ended up reading it in all it's wonder for the last however long.
I need to review as it was so wonderful so far so bear with me, a huge scattered comment coming up, with bits that stuck with me and i had to make a note with:

The first four chapters were really sweet and i loved the way you built frank and gee's relationship, there are so many instances of humour use which had me laughing and smiling. I was really impressed as i find it extremely hard to use humour successfully, yet the lighter chapters were filled with it...

"I had, apparently, just won a free ring tone for my phone. Magical."
(That's completely my sort of humour and it had that sort of speech, spoken voice kind of quality to it where i could completely imagine him/myself saying that)

"I mean a pat on the shoulder and offering a lighter isn’t exactly “Hop into bed with me” material. Is it?
(Again this made me laugh an awful lot)

This paragraph sort of catergorises the sweetness of frank/gee at the beginning, it was definitely awww-worthy and was adorable;
"I wonder what the inside of his pockets feel like… I thought. I bet they were warm. They probably had all sorts of cool dust and stuff in them. I really wanted to find out, which is weird, I know, but dammit it was something I needed to know! “What else is in your pockets?” I asked,
… There was some cool red fluff. I smiled at the red fluff. I knew there’d be something like that in there."

I also really enjoyed the way you portrayed Mikey discovering he had feelings for Frank, the realisation that happened through his thoughts was really well-written.

Chapter 10 and 12 were exceptionally heart-breaking and sort of saw a shift in the tone of the story, it became alot darker (which imo i actually prefer reading), i just loved thesechapter and absolutely hated it and how hopeless the situation began to seem. The brothers' heartbreak and pain was seeping from the writing.

When Frank came back i felt so much empathy for Mikey, i half wanted to jump around with excitement but also wanted to bitch-slap him aswell, i love how you evoked this response from me and made me feel exactly how mikey's feeling were portrayed.

"He’d never know how Frank made me feel. He’d never know the things Frank had told me as we lay in the dark. He’d never know the promises he’d made to me when I told him I wanted him to be mine forever. He’d never even know the things I’d told Frank. He’d never know what I’d told Frank when he was crying in my arms, begging me to help him stay away from what he was"
^ That was just an exceptional line, it was beautifully written and definitely deserves a mention

I Loved the writing style used in chapter 18 where you entwined frank's thoughts with gerard's dialogue, it flowed so well and was just a wonderful and notable example of good writing technique.

Despite everything that happened i still liked frank's character until the latter chapters, he is such a complete arse and he breaks my heart. I hate how gerard took him back despite everything as i wanted him to reject frank for good, although him succumbing to him is so realistic and relatable as we've all known someone who we'll always run back to no matter what. So despite my opinion, for the plot this was actually more believeable and therefore a better choice.

:shock: The last chapter nearly killed me, despite me reading half of the story with tears brimming, i can't believe frank would sacrifice gee and mikey would sacrifice his brother and Dani. Frank must have super-powers, i'm dying to know what happens, there'll be more soon yes?

So in conclusion i apologise for a slightly scattered and brief review as despite the length there were so many other note worthy parts and techniques in this story. The plot was brilliant and kept me guessing, shocked and upset me just like any good plot should, i adored the story so far and actually spent the same amount of time reviewing it as i did reading it, it's too damn late now so i must depart and i'll blame you for the fatigue that's sure to plague me tomorrow ;)
So please continue, i've undoubtedly subscribed and will await more impatiently :)
*Carly

Again Carly, thank you so very much.
xxx