Chasing Perfect

Something about today made me realize that I'm tired of being tired. I'm sick to death of late nights (okay....if 3 am even still counts as "night" during the school week), I'm sick to death of studying my ass off to impress a bunch of people I won't see again after May, I'm sick to death of trying to be perfect. But I'll do it anyway. I will keep at it, because quite simply, chasing perfect is all I know. Instead of finding my one thing I'm really exceptional at, I insist upon passing for barely-above-mediocre in a whole mass-gaggle of categories. Music? Sure, I love it, but I'm not the best. Theatre? Yeah, right. Just cause something is all you care about doesn't make you any damn better at it. School? Well, I guess they don't make you number 4 for nothing. Sister? Eh, not so great. Daughter? Please, as I'm reminded way too often, I'm a disappointment. Girlfriend? Nope, sorry, boys aren't on my agenda. Too busy chasing perfect. When I was very small, everyone told me that I could be anything I want to be-and all I want to be is perfect. Too much to ask?
These words are just going to disappear into the universe as soon as I type them. It's kind of a nice feeling to know that they won't be inside of me anymore. Of course, they could always come back to bite me. And who knows? Tomorrow, they may not even be true. But I know, as of right now, this very moment in time, exactly where I stand...or more specifically HOW I stand...ready to take off running again....chasing perfect.