Well, that was awkward.

Just completely flipped out at my ex. He asked me if dinner could be ready by a specific time, which ordinarily would be fine, but for some reason I thought it was a huge issue today. I asked if he had a midterm tonight, and he said no, and then I freaked.

I don't even remember what I said, but it felt really justified at the time. It was something along the lines of "I am not your servant, I don't owe you anything, why the fuck should I do anything for you?" And then I started to cry. He looked afraid, actually.

He went back upstairs and said something like "I did say if it was possible," because that somehow made it better.

I don't understand what's going on. I can't remember ever responding like this to stress, although my mother would probably claim otherwise. I've probably had a better support system in place in the past, though. I don't ever remember not having a large group of close friends that I could go to about stuff like this --being stressed and an emotional wreck -- all that kind of thing. This is probably the first time I've lost almost all of my friends in the immediate area over something so dumb as a birthday party, and then refusing to take part in the resulting factions.

I have tried so hard to be reasonable when it comes to him, I guess it just wasn't enough in the end.