First time in a long time I have felt this way

F*ck,

I just want to crawl into bed and sleep all day. I feel sick, my stomach is churning. I have eaten, just to stop the pain, but now I just feel sick. It hurts. It still hurts.

My brain is screaming at me. Dump him dump him dumphimdumphim. My head hurts.

How could anyone who wants to marry me be so thoughtless? So inconsiderate, time and time again. And then when I'M upset because of what HE'S done, he threatens me with his suicidal tendencies, and expects me to let him come to mine at 3am because I "owe him that much."

I am not falling for his crap. And I owe him nothing. I've lost three friends over him.

He knew what he did would upset me, and he did it anyway. He fucking knew. And he did it.

I need to go to bed. No, I need to get out, I want to go to bed and cry.

So I've deactivated my Facebook, since that's where all the trouble starts. That's where I keep seeing the photos of him and Nina in each others laps, arms. Having girl mates is fine. Having her sit in your lap, and using that photo as your profile pic is down right disgusting. His number is gone, but I'm keeping my phone on. He's still txting me, saying he lost his virginity to me, "does that not mean anything to you?" "What can I do to show you that I love you?"

Hey c*nt, you could start by listening to me when I say I feel uncomfortable with that slut around you, keep the photos to yourself. I always give you a chance, I always let you know when you step out of line. I tell you so you can change your single ways.

Isn't it obvious I don't want your kids? Why else do you think I just got on the pill. You're far too immature.

Yet I haven't dumped him.

F*ck. Get f*cked.