Dirty.

I feel so physically and emotionally dirty. I feel so cluttered. I feel like I live in a junk yard. I feel useless and disgusting.

…

There’s a war going on inside my head, and someone just fired a bullet. I'm going insane. I want help, but I don't know how to tell people how, and what they can do. Why did those boys have to do this to me? I don't want to be a victim anymore. Today (03/13/12) is 85 self-injury free. But I don't know how much more I can take. I want to cut so badly. I miss the feeling it gave me.