Music, Love Poems&Rants

Just need to vent.

I love music, it's what keeps me barely sane. But lately I can't seem to stop thiinking of you in every single song I hear. You are always there. Almost every song, and I just can't take it. All the music on my iPod makes me think of you, and the radio? Even worse. It's like someone enjoys seeing me squirm and wanna die everyday. I miss you so dang much. It's almost unbelievable. I die more and more each day, I check my phone constantly. It's like..just because you are the only one I want to text me, everyone in the world finds it necassary to text or call me..I wish it was you though. I can't even listen to 90% of my music..Like right now, I have my phone on shuffle, because I'm scared to turn my iPod on. And Mariah Carey came on. Okay I know that's olllddd music. But here I am struggling to breath and writting this for all of these people I don't know to see..am I crazy..

"I'm trying to keep it together but I'm falling apart. I'm feeling all out of my element. Throwing things, crying, trying to ffigure out where the hell I went wrong....this song ain't even half of what I'm feeling inside. I need you back in my life."

Here comes the panic attacks..I miss you like crazy..I miss my girl..and my best friend..idk what to do anymore..so I'll sit here and listen to music that breaks me down and write stupid love poems.