I'M SO ANGRY

I don't know what to do anymore. It's my friends babyshower tonight (more of a gathering where we drink and she stays sober because she's pregnant and stuff, not really a baby shower she's just having a party...ish) and I don't want to go.

Basically I saw my pregnant friend the other week and she just got on my nerves. We were getting on fine when she suddenly said

'urgh Bryonys been texting me all day yesterday about the weekend.'
'Whats she been saying?'
'About how awkward it is between you and Laura. I said I didn't know what to do about it and she suggested I uninvite you both.'

Ok so heres me thinking "well actually I'm the only one that has been visiting you and even TALKING to you whilst you've been pregnant even though all you talk about is your ex-boyfriend, the baby and your ex-boyfriends mum and I can never get a word in. Nobody else has actually spoken to you or made an effort whatsoever and you have the cheek to uninvite me?" Of course I didn't actually say any of this because you can't shout at a pregnant woman and shit (even if it was her fault and she was trying to get pregnant in the first place, but thats a whole different story)... also I didn't really know what to say at the time.

(couple weeks ago)

It started with this girl Laura (in our friendship group) who just completely blanked me for about two weeks. So I asked if we could talk and she smiled genuinely and was like yeah thats good. So we both sat down and I asked her what was up.

'I'm suprised you don't know really'
'I don't mean to sound ignorant but I really don't know. Is it because I've been sitting with that other group?' I've been making friends with another group since the beginning of college because theres quite a few breaks where I'm either on my own or with someone I don't get on with so I'm not exactly going to spend it on my own.

'Its not just that, you've become a bit of a bitch'

And then she blurted our all this shit in a psycological patronising way saying how everybodys changed since college but I've changed in a bad way and I don't talk anymore and I just ignore everyone. Everyone hates me in our friendship group and I'm the topic of bitchy conversation.

'But you can come back from this, everyone deserves a second chance'
'I don't like Hannah (I have good reason for it), she's horrible and moans all the time, you don't have to spend time with her. I have three hour breaks a day where I have to sit with people that don't talk or sit and do essays without speaking. Can you imagine what thats like? You guys have like 25 mins or an hour, when you leave I'm either sat with one person or on my own.'
'But you have to make sacrafices, not everyones going to like each other'

How do you ACTUALLY EXPECT ME TO COME BACK FROM THAT?!

I was practically in tears, well who wouldn't be if you've just been told that your friends hate you and you're the topic of bitchy conversation, I was completely paranoid and thinking I'm such a bad friend I've done everything wrong. But then one of my friends saw me upset and hugged me and asked me whats wrong. I just said 'well its a bit awkward getting a hug from someone who hates you' and then I found out that my friends don't hate me, they're not annoyed with me and they completely understand why I sit with another group sometimes. In fact a couple of them were really angry with Laura for speaking for them as she shouldn't have spoken for everyone.

This however just left me and laura not speaking to each other and it being awkward for the rest of the group. Which I'm assuming is the problem for tonight, I can handle not talking to Laura, to be fair I don't really want to but its just so annoying that its awkward for everyone else. And to make things worse two of the friends that stuck up for aren't going and my other best friend is coming but with her boyfriend so she'll probably just spend all her time with him.

To top it off my english coursework is due in for monday, I've been told to rewrite it all again in the form of an article (I've never even written an article before). AND my microsoft word is 2003 which for some bizarre reason is incompatible with microsoft 2010 (what the college has) so I have to use the computer downstairs to get everything off my memorystick or open attached documents, which is a bitch because its so slow it's just taken me and hour and a half to do a five minute job and I havent even done it properly -.-