Numb.

So last night, I got a text that had me crying my eyes out. I literally sobbed for 30 minutes straight. It took me by surprise, upset me, made me mad, and it hurt my heart.

I finally quit crying, calmed myself down and got myself some ice cream haha. My friend Jamie got home from the mall and skyped me and she really did cheer me up some. Everyone kept making threats to the boy who upset me, even his own friends, but I keep telling them no. Don't do anything it'll only make it worse. It's not an official break up, just a break.

Let me tell you, that fucking hurts. Pardon my french, but it does. To get a text from the boy you've been dating for nearly 3 months, the one who you love so much, to text you that he thinks that the two of you should take a break. He doesn't want it, but he has a lot going on right now and he hates not talking to you for days, he says. "As soon as I know what's going on, we'll get back together, I promise."

So now I've cried, I've calmed down, I've slept. Now I feel numb. I have this painful feeling in my chest, but other than that, I feel numb. I guess it's better than hurting right?

Except I am hurting. It hurts to unlock my phone and see his picture, it hurts to open my messages, it hurts to smile, to laugh. Everything hurts right now.