Well

Do you know how much I love you?
I watch you leave every night. I sit at my window and watch you enter your car and slowly make the U-turn to go back home. I try to breathe just right when you lay on my chest to listen to my heart beat. I grin every time I hold you close, or see you. And still, after this long, I get nervous to see you in the morning. I go insane over your scent - like catnip to me. I'm wearing your hoodie now.

Your flaws have no meaning to me. Like that athletes foot problem you had for a while from hockey that one time. Or how you sweat bullets in to my sheets when I'm on top. Or how there's that specific smell after sex that's musky as hell.

And I have put so much trust in you. So much that I've let you know how I actually felt. I didn't realize you felt like this. I can be cute with you - fake things, like photos, our matching rabbit necklaces, that tea set you gave me. You don't just like to stay home all the time, but you love being alone with me. The balance is perfect. You look forward to texting me every night.

I just want all of you. You're quirkiness. You're adorableness. You're loving side, caring side, worried side, vulnerable side. You're dickhead friends, your ex-girlfriends, your hairy chest and ass. Your auburn hair, your tough arms and rock hard chest, your rough beard and skin disease spots you have. The scarred tissue on your back. Your illnesses and depression. Your tight schedule and the fact you'll be in Virginia in a year.

I don't care. I love you.

As I smile, as I sit.
And spit from the 26th floor.