I mean don't get me wrong, there's nothing I won't do for my siblings, it's just hard when they constantly look up to me for things a father should be doing instead.
I can't tell you how many things our dad has missed for the last two years. He doesn't live close and even though we talked 'heart to heart' before he actually left, it still stings a bit. My dad and I, we're not "super" close, but it's just an average father/son relationship. I'm more closer to my mom than anything, so deep down I don't mind helping her out, it's just like...I wanna break sometimes.
Especially now, since I'm working nights and oh yeah, the fact that pretty soon my own kid will be here at the end of October. I obviously have a lot on my plate with taking care of my gf, then I have to do it all over with my siblings like take them to school sometimes. I haven't talked to my dad about it, because really there is no point. He at least sends money for my siblings, but it's just not enough.
When my siblings need help with homework, I did it. When one was bullied, I took care of it. When my sis first rode a bike, I taught her. I just can't help but feel like I was already forced into a fatherly role before I really even knew what it was.
That's why I laugh when people tell me if I am nervous, or if I'm too young to be having my own kid. It's like dude, you don't know my story, so don't assume.
Gah, I just had an off day so I guess writing this seemed to help a bit to let the stress out. I don't want to stress my mom out and give her more guilt than I already have, so I guess I'll just stick it out like I always do.
To top it off, GF's getting a test done next week to make sure there's no birth defects, it's in her family history, so yeah. Now she's stressed the hell out and I'm trying to keep her from going crazy.
So...how was your day Mibba? -_-