How can I fake it so good?

I was just told by a friend that he thought suicide was stupid. He hated it, it disgusted him. He thought it was selfish. And he's right.

But I couldn't help but find myself offended. Because he only thought that suicide was done by immature people who had no care for other people. But that's not always true.

I believe that suicide is a stupid answer. But sometimes it's hard. Hard to keep on living when things are just too much for you to handle. And who knows what types of hardships you've had in your life.

you could be like me. I suffer from depression. I know people care about me. I have a beautiful daughter and a good life. There is nothing wrong with me at all. i know this. But sometimes, it's this overwhelming feeling. Life I'm drowning, trying to claw my way out of the depths that are like leeches to my skin.

Do you know how hard it is to cry for help when you can't breathe?

Sometimes I wish people understood that it's not that I'm trying to be selfish. Just that a lot of the time I just cant seem to help it. Even thought I know I will do spectacular things, that life is really beautiful. I just dont have any will to live it. I just coast. How does one quit feeling like this?

Ive never found a way. You can be medicated all you want, but sometimes it doesnt work all the time. The best you can do is try to look at your life as a glass half full. I try my damnedest to do that every day. Try to laugh. Try to think about my future, not so much my past or present. But it's hard.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you should watch the happy people the closest. The people who try to make others laugh. Who take shit from everyone and are alone a lot too. There is more of me than I can think off. And Im one of the ones that want help, but not entirely sure how to go about it. I'm coping.

No one knows how I really feel. Because somehow I fake it so well. Would you ever guess I was depressed by the way I look?

I already know your answer.