Today wasn't good.

I had a mental breakdown again today.
My meds wore off. I had a very uncomfortable day as it was. I got some bad news and this breakdown was different. I couldn’t feel my body, I was numb. And I planned out my suicide.

I have never fully planned it. I have the entire thing mapped out completely. I was scared to be alone with myself. I had this happen at my best friend Mike’s house. He brought me back and took me to my mom. I took my medication and now I just have the thought that I mapped out my suicide.

I know how to do it now, you guys. I know. I had every intention of doing it tonight, if my best friend and my mom weren’t here. praise God right?