Writing?

I haven't written a thing in such a very long time. I just always feel like I can't get the words right or the sentences, nothing really. I find that everything I try to write down comes out so dry, compared to so many things I've read.I don't know if it's really my writing that I dislike, or something else about me is bothering me, thus making it impossible to write.

I always get these amazing ideas, but the second I put them down on paper, I just automatically dislike it.My friends and my sister keep nagging at me to write, but I just can't get it out of me. I'm not excellent at it, I don't even think I'm great or good, I'm just alright, so I don't even understand the pestering.

Writing used to be a release for me. I'd write to feel good, I'd write to hit the keyboard with anger, I'd write to have an excuse to lock myself in my room with the speakers blaring. Writing. That was the only thing my mom ever actually gushed about. "Yeah, my daughter writes," she never even read a piece, not that I would let her. I'm way too fragile for writing. Sometimes I think the real reason I stopped, and started feeling like every word that came out of me was just completely horrid is because a friend of mine kind of beat and battered me, about how awful and so myself the writing sounds.

My apologies for writing like me, next time I'll try to mimic Nicholas Sparks or J.R. Ward, yes?With friends like that, who needs enemies?

It isn't that I can't take criticism, I can take that, especially from strangers in the online world, but I need my friends to support me not break me.Now that I'm writing this down, I have a much higher feeling that his words probably were the reasons.

My best friend told me to just open up word and try, even if I have to delete and re-write the chapter a billion times over, and I'm going to try it. I have my writing music on, although not blasting through speakers, not at this ungodly hour. We'll see what happens.
April 20th, 2012 at 09:20am