Have you ever looked back on a time in your life, and realised it's exactly like a scene from a movie? I've always thought it to be stupid, until it happened to me.
Let's start from the beginning...
I've been on two dates in my entire life. The first was horrible. We watched Harry Potter, he took me to McDonalds where his ex worked, I told him I was in love with someone else, I had to let him beat me in Guitar Hero because he almost cried when I won... You get the point. It wasn't very pleasant and it didn't end well at all. The second was amazing. We went out for dinner at this small Italian restaurant in the city. It was mid-week so it wasn't very busy, so when we picked a table outside, we were the only ones there. I had the flu at the time, so he took me to get ice cream afterwards since my throat was sore. it was lovely. The only problem was, I didn't realise it was a date. Stupid, STUPID me!
You see, he is my manager, and I'm not going to lie, we are really good friends. I suppose I was blind to the feelings we felt for each other, because I only just realised I had mine a few months ago.
Let's back track a bit again...
About a year ago now, he was getting ready to leave for Ireland for three months. He was due to come back a week before my 18th birthday. Well, every week me and my friends go to the local Tavern for Trivia night, well the week before he left, I invited him to come. All was well, we were having a blast, so we decided to go back to my friends house for drinks. She invited this guy over who we went to school with, and me and him had a lot of history together. Long story short, he was very jealous and I was very sick of him treating me like I was his girlfriend when I clearly wasn't (I did not have any nice feelings towards him at this point). So, my manager and I, being single and under the influence of alcohol, decided it would be an excellent idea to make him jealous and be a couple for the night. We shared a blanket under the patio outside, he poured my drinks for me, we shared a hand of cards when we played poker, we kissed...
We did a lot more than kiss that night too...
But still, I was still too blind to see my feelings for him. I think the fact that he is my manager kept getting in the way. We never spoke about that night before he left for Ireland, and we never spoke about it when he came back. To this day we have never mentioned that night. Because I am his 'bro' and 'bros' aren't suppose to be intimate together.
I should have realised my feelings for him when we went on our date, but I didn't. I should have realised my feelings for him when we got 'friendly' in the bedroom, but I didn't. You'd think when he broke my heart, I would have realised, hey? But no, I didn't.
Let's get into that further now...
When he was in Ireland, he only spoke to me twice the entire three months he was gone. Both times was through text message and in the middle of the night. It really hurt that my best friend removed contact with me. I started to tell myself that I was a joke and that I didn't mean anything to him... Basically, I started telling myself he was laughing at how inexperienced I am in the bed room and he didn't want to talk to me again. If that wasn't confusing enough, when he came back, he acted like nothing ever happened and started treating me like we never lost contact. The day he came back from Ireland he came over to visit me, except then a week later when it was my birthday, I didn't even get a happy birthday. He didn't take me out for my birthday, like we agreed he would, and he didn't come to my party the following weekend. I was so confused because one minute he was acting like we were best friends, and the next it was like I didn't exist.
A year later now and he has a girlfriend. It didn't bother me at first because for the past couple of months I have been pushing him away, telling myself that he is annoying, and an asshole and just doesn't understand how to treat a lady. When in reality, I love the way he treats me like one of the guys, and the only reason I was pushing him away is because I didn't want to admit my feelings for him. He is my manger! We aren't suppose to be together. I thought it would be better if I just ignored the way I felt, because I thought there is no way he could have feelings for me back.
Last month we had a huge fight. We didn't talk for a bit over a week, and we only started talking again because it was his birthday and there was no way I was going to ignore him on his birthday like he did to me. I went to his house for drinks (except I stayed sober because I had to leave at 11pm). The whole night he was talking to me, sitting with me, and making sure I had enough food and water. If you didn't know that he had a girlfriend, you wouldn't have known they were dating because he was more friendly with me than he was with her. When I left that night, he walked me out to my car and put his hands on my shoulders and said "Aimee, I don't hate you" and that's when I realised my true feelings for him, and that's when I realised his true feelings for me.
Since then, I've noticed all the little things. Like the way he will take his lunch break at the same time as me, and how whenever he is out drinking with his friends, he is contantly texting me and asking me to come out too. He's been hugging me a lot lately, and nuzling his face in my neck. I don't know... maybe it's my feelings that is making me think he has them back, but he has to. There is just no other reasonable explaination for the last two years. You don't become close to someone, take them on a date, get giggy in the bedroom, and not have any feelings for them, right?
The only issue is, he has a girlfriend. And honestly, even if he didn't, I would be to afraid to admit my real feelings for him anyway. I guess not ever story is suppose to have a happy ending... We will always be unfinished buisness.
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