Insecurity

My best friend and I are definetely a sight to behold. Our personalities and out looks are totally different yet exactly the same. We've been best friends since sixth grade and have been inseperable since then. Yet, I can't help but feel anxious sometimes. I'm timid and insecure, always questioning myself before I move forward. She isn't like that. She's outgoing and as bright as a star, recklessly going through with something before considering all the consequences. She's funny and smart and people are drawn to her. I know her best and know that she isn't what the rest of the world thinks. But still, I'm terrified that she'll leave me-me, the person who's drab, stiff, boring- behind for someone as bright as she is. I want to go to college with her, to ensure that we won't drift apart like all the other friendships out there. But she wants to go to a college in England and there's no way my family could afford going there. My mother told me, "You know, you don't have to follow her around everywhere."
I didn't reply, not knowing how to explain this fear that I'll lose the first person who's ever known and seen all the bad things about me and not caring one bit. Saying that, even though I had my faults, she had ten times more and, without me, would have know idea what to do. I hope she means that. Because the honest truth it, I wouldn't know what to do without her, either.