I'm writing a John O'Callaghan fanfic and I wanna hear your thoughts

I've been planning this chapter story for awhile now (like, since last year) and I've finished chapter 1 and started with chapter 2. It's been sitting around in my files for some time now and I'm contemplating whether or not to post it on Mibba.

I posted chapter 1 on my writing blog and I'm not very confident about it. You guys mind reading it and telling me what you think? If a lot of you like it and want it on here, I might just do it.

So, please help me out? Should I continue it and post it here?

Here's the link to my writing blog: http://crashingintoinfinity.tumblr.com/