why write?

Why do it? What drives you to sit in front of your computer, mercilessly stabbing the keys of your keyboard to get your thoughts on the screen? What brings you back to the Word document you've been slowly adding to for months? What makes you think it's worthwhile to do this?

I want to know why you people write. Not what got you started, not your inspiration. I simply want to know why write. Is it fun? Entertaining? Amusing? Do you live vicariously through your characters? Does it benefit you on a psychological level? Does it relieve some of that teen angst stirring up your system? Do you just have nothing better to do with your life?

I sort of have a love/hate relationship with writing. I hate doing it, but I love doing it at the same time. GOD HOW I HATE WRITING. I HATE IT. It's awful. Really, if I could go back in time and tell myself some speck of knowledge, it would be, DO NOT START WRITING. Because once you start, you never really stop, do you? Even if you don't write, you still think like a writer. I mean if you're a true writer, not some fake-wannabe-OMIGOD-I-WRITE-AREN'T-I-COOL type of person, but an ACTUAL writer.

I honestly don't think I'll ever get rid of that nagging sensation that I should be writing. Or that a certain song could be turned into a great story. Or that a certain real life situation would be a great basis for a great story. Or that a single situation would be able to start a great story. AND ON AND ON AND ON. It really annoying, actually. Why can't you just leave me alone, nagging writer within? LEAVE ME ALONE TO LIVE MY LIFE IN PEACE GODDAMMIT.

Is that what keeps you writing? Just that drive from within, whatever it is, to keep writing? Sometimes I feel like if I'm not writing, I'm completely wasting my time. And when I do write, I feel like I've contributed to ending world hunger or something. Sometimes I feel like I suck at writing, and therefore my life is completely worthless.

So basically, I hate writing, yet I still do it because I also love it. This is very confusing. Do you have a less confusing relationship with writing? Why do you write?