You Wanna Help a Young Mind?

So...

Yeah, here we go, sexuality shit. 

(Excuse the swearing, it's a habit.)

Today, my Mom and me were talking about my friends (it's sounds weird, I know, but she's amazing, and I love her so shut up) and we were talking about my one friend who has parents WHO SUCK. 

She talked to her dad once about lesbians, and he basically told her he would disown her if she was one. And that pissed me off. 

She's not lesbian, but it really made me proud of her that she too was angry. 

That particular friend was also one who once said, and I quote, "I hate gay people. They're just - ew." 

And at the time, she wasn't my friend, and she pissed me off. I was like, "Then why the fuck did you move here? This is fucking California. You are actually dumb enough to say that out loud? Do you want to die?" 

But now, she proudly supports gays. And it makes me happy because I helped changed her views. I made a difference. One less ignorant homophobe in the world. 

Anyway, here we go. Back at the thing at hand. 

I was wondering, what actually am I?

I am young, maybe I shouldn't know yet, but I'm all... weird. Sexuality shit. 

My guardian was like, "Syra. I think you should know by now. Your sexuality..." 

It was extremely awkward. BUT I DIDN'T KNOW...

I don't actually think I've ever fallen in love before. And that sucks. 

Sure, I've been hurt before, but it's only superficial. 

I don't find myself attracted to guys. Or girls for that matter. Or anyone. WHAT. 

I've kissed someone before, but after that he actually ran away and I never saw him again. Maybe this whole confusion shit is a psychological thing. I dunno. 

What is up with me. Am I like, asexual? Demisexual? (Yes, I have Googled this crap). 

Could you like, help a confused girl out? 

It was just on my mind for a while. Forever. Kinda. 

This whole journal is really messy, but I had to get something out. Yeah... 

I'm sorry if I sound stupid or I'm not making any sense, I'm not stupid, just inexperienced with talking about these topics so... Gimme a hand. Please? Or not, I guess I'll be okay. 

xD 

-Syra.