I seriously f*cked up.

I don't even know what I was doing. Seriously, what the fuck?

On thursday I popped five Xanax during school and then had a breakdown.

So I ran and told my Biology teacher because he's like an uncle to me. He took me to the nurse and they cleared out the whole office because apparently I was a medical emergency.

The dean of students came in to talk to me, to tell me I was getting suspended and possibly expelled. I was crying really hard.

And then my guidance counselor came in and brought me a soda and sat with me while I cried. She hugged me and told me everything was going to be fine. God, I fucking love her.

My dad had to come pick me up, I missed english class. I feel so guilty about that. I feel really guilty in general because I feel like I let a lot of people down, my parents, my teachers, my guidance counselor, my friends.

The last thing I remember before I passed out was my brother's girlfriend telling me I was going to be okay. At least I think that happened, that might've been a dream. When I woke up I was at my mom's house and I don't remember going there, but apparently I walked there on my own.

I just. Fuck. Why did I even do that? I'm so fucking disappointed in myself.

I let myself down.