do me a favor?

i'd really appreciate it if you had the ability to buy my book.

it's sort of surreal for me to think that it's online and that anyone can buy it... just to realize that the only people who've bought it are people who i talk to on a day to day basis. and that sort of sucks on the other band because it's like, damn, i put a lot of effort into something, and a handful of friends who are just doing it because i've bothered them into it are buying it? that sort of bites.

but at the same time, it's really awesome to see them come in with the copies- i signed the first copy of my own book at fifteen, isn't that silly?

i just want to make something of myself so that the people who saw me in high school and middle school and remember me as a freak, as a nervous person who couldn't interact properly with those she saw every day... they'll see me on a bestseller list or in their local bookstore when their kid asks to go and picks out one of my books.

maybe those are pipe dreams, but they're what i want.

they're what i have to achieve.