My phobia of children.

So i feel the need to share this story. Because who really knows these days, with the way children are?

Once upon a time I got conned into painting kindergardeners faces for track and field day.
[I love kids, but in groups they frighten me.]
So there I am, doing what I do, painting a heart on this little boys face. Then out of nowhere, and very enthusiastically, he goes "YOU WORK AT WOODS!" [which is the grocery store origin of my employment] and I'm all 0.0 sure do.. Then he gives me that creepy little boy smile, you know the one, and disappears.

Guess who paid me a visit on my shift yesterday? I was standing at the end of my register, waiting for someone to wander through my line, when this six year old leaps from behind the plants and almost scares me to my grave. "I TOLD YOU I KNEW WHERE YOU WORKED!!"

I start cracking up, despite the slight suspicion of a tot stalker, and ask him where his parents are. He tells me he drove here himself.
They just don't train us thoroughly enough. I can give great directions to the restroom, scan and sack groceries like no ones business, AND get a smile out of just about anyone. But THIS??

I don't want him to just wander off, so I try keeping him entertained with our handy dandy stickers and what not, hoping to God that he's a pathological liar and his moms just grabbing some bread or something.

After a few minutes he says he sees her and runs off faster than any human being should.
Hopefully he found her and I don't see his face on any milk cartons.
Crazy little bugger.
THE END.

P.S. Got a CRAZY farmers tan from my fun filled day of painting faces. fell asleep by the pool, trying to get rid of it, I now have an insane sunburn on the BACKS of my legs. Brownie points, Bailey. For that extra mile.