herpderp

I'm trying so hard to be happy with what I have. I want so much to stop being this whiny little brat who does nothing but ask, and throw a fit when she doesn't get what she wants. I understand that everyone around me has problems, and I'm an insignificant little nobody that hasn't contributed anything to the world, and probably never will. But you know, living just gets so tiring. I'm tired of wondering if I've truly made friends. I'm tired of playing the "oh, but you're so beautiful" game with everyone, because yesterday just confirmed it: I'm a fatass. I'm a fatass, I'm a fatass, I'm a fatass. When my classmate told me this yesterday, I know he was only joking, but the truth is he wouldn't have said it if he didn't think it was true. Because that's how guys are. They sit around, assessing girls' bodies, and while they have no fucking right to say who's better, reality is that yes, I am a fucking slob. I'm a fat, lying, unsatisfied slob. I do nothing but feel sorry for myself. Look at my family; they may be fucked up, but they're so strong. Why can't I learn from them? Sure, everything I've ever asked for has been turned down. Sure, they laugh at me whenever I cry, like they did when I was 10 years old and the dog ate my guinea pig. But even filthy, racist, arrogant, pig-headed, gossiping hypocrites are better than me. I'm the lowest of low. What can I ever do? The only things I was ever proud of myself for are all gone. I'm waking up to find that, geez Sarah, you really aren't worth anything. You cry at the smallest thing, can't even take a simple joke, have a stick up your ass, and you're fat. Fat fat fat fat and ugly. Ugly inside and out. You can't even maintain good grades. Not even taking a math class or a heavy science class, and you can't even manage to keep up all A's. You're a pain in the ass to your sister, a brat to your parents, a fucking, arrogant idiot to your classmates, a mean-spirited bitch to your friends, and a nobody to the rest of the world.

Just fuck the world. Fuck everything in it. FUCK EVERYONE.
May 16th, 2012 at 03:00am