The Fear is Back.

Haphephobia:
An intense, irrational fear of being touched.

Treatment after treatment but still this phobia returns.

Too many people are around me. I can’t breathe with all these people standing around me.
My hands are shaking, my heart is racing, and I’m growing dizzier and dizzier. Make it stop, make it stop.

No one can see it, but it’s right there.

Someone is coming near me. Nothing about them is scary, but the thought of them touching my arm, hand, shoulder, anywhere makes me terrified.

I feel as if I’m in a room with only one door in front of me. I try hard to get the door to open but it won’t. I see a million people coming towards me. I begin to bang on the door, “LET ME OUT!” I scream and scream but no one will listen, “LET ME OUT!” I fell to the floor holding my shoulders crying, shaking, my heart is racing. One by one the people place their hands on me. This is what it feels like when I’m at school. I feel as if I’m alone and no one will understand.