When you don't get the answer you want to hear...

If you've read my other journals, you probably can take the guess that I have no self-confidence and by looking at my pics, obviously I'm not the most attractive guy...actually you'd be lying if you called me attractive.

My best friend and I (well he's gay) tell each other everything and he's been trying to help me build self-confidence, especially with my weight, I think that I'm fat but my close friends say I'm not, although they have to say that.

So, since he's gay, he asked me to send him a shirtless picture of me and he'd tell me what he thought. I didn't really want to, but part of me did because I'm sick of hiding. So, I did it and he said that it's the inside that counts. Then I made a joke so he didn't know what he said hurt me, then I apologized for making him look at that, so he said by the morning he won't remember it...

I've been called fat and ugly by people plenty of times, but never by my best friend.
I've never been so hurt in my entire life. He'd never try to purposely hurt me, we're always there for each other. I'm not mad at him...I'm just...hurt...really, really hurt.

I'd been better off if he just didn't respond.