HowardxAshlie fic

Howard woke up to the sound of someone screaming. He jerked his upper body up, and frantically looked around the room. Ashlie was standing near her side of the room, eying something on the floor.
"Ashlie, what is WRONG?" He yelled groggily.
"Sp-Spider!" she shrieked. She pointed toward the floor, where the frickin' queen spider on STEROIDS was scampering around.
Howard screamed like a girl, then told Ashlie to stay quiet. He picked up a cup, and placed the spider outside without killing it.
They were relieved to be free of the spider's wrath.
Ashlie hugged Howard. "Thanks, babe."
"No need to thank me," Howard replied modestly.
"You sure...?" Ashlie slowly pulled down a strap of her night dress, smiling seductively.
"W-well," he stuttered. "It IS common curtousy..."
She laughed and kissed him, the couple falling back onto the bed.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A few weeks later, Ashlie started... changing.
All of her clothes felt a size too small, she was always nauseas, and she couldn't stop EATING.
"Brenda, I just don't get it," Howard sighed. "I mean, I may not have a PhD-"
"Word tew!"
"But I do know that these are all telltale signs of-"
He stopped dead in his track.
"P-pregnency?" Brenda suggested. "Did you and Ash have unprotected sex!"
Howard gulped. "Well, yeah, we did! But it was only once, and-"
"THE AMOUNT OF TIMES DOESN'T MATTER!" Brenda screamed. "YOU GOT MY SISTER PREGNANT YOU JEWISH BASTARD!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ashlie groaned. "No... No! NO!"
Positive. She was pregnant.
"Howard," she called nervously.
"H-hang on, just a second," he replied. He was busy burning a pan full of vegetables.
He walked into the bathroom to see Ashlie crying, a smile on her face.
"Ashlie?" he said quietly.
"I'm pregnant...," she whispered. She hugged Howard, happy tears in her eyes. "I'm PREGNANT!"