Depressed conspiracy! what a riot?

what is depression?
i heard the scientific theory many times about how theres something with your brain that is messing you up.
NO DUH!!!!!
that is life!

Theres always something wrong with the brain. so what is it?
maybe its the year that has torn me up from death, to bad family experiences, to leaving friends behind because of moving and one turned into a backstabber. Or is it the fact that when you hide your found? But when you want to be discovered, your just covered.I have great things that happen to me, as well as the worst. but i'm usually dark.
I love, as well as i loathe. i smile, as well as i cry. i yell for help and i yell from anger.
but i have a teacher who told me there was nothing wrong with me, its societys fault. but only if she knew. i don't want excuses, i want nothing. except i wanna be alone. all by myself forever. im use to it. i have one person, but nobody sticks around for long when their mine. it s a proven fact.
what am i?
i wish i was a conspiracy that everybody feared and they commited suicide before i could get a hold of them. the whole irony is im hayley and i dont believe in murder. so, if they gotten to know me maybe they wouldnt have been idiots and pulled a stunt like that. idiots, their so selfish.