I need a few people to review this for me . . .

Well, this is a thing I am submitting for something on INO. This is the opening.
Please can I have some feedback on what you think of it, how I can improve, am I good for my age etc . . .

Here goes;;

My Chemical Romance - Where do I begin? Saviours, heroes, idols, everything to me. No amount of words could ever sum up my dear love for these fantastically fucked-up deities of mine. No amount of pitiful crying over the fact that my existence is totally unknown to them will put my poignant, however valid point across you. But, whoever you are, wherever you are, I want you to know this;

My Chemical Romance are my life.

Now, to start my well and truly shamelessly devoted banter about how much they mean, I foreworn you that I will not spare you of any details, whether gruesome, sickening, deplorable or contrite, they are all included in here.

Firstly, I shall let my ignorance of my sanity show vibrantly through my concrete show of what appears to be my normal self. The person I make myself look like on the outside is not me. I am not playful, assertive, happy. No, not happy. For a matter of fact, I am probably the most passive, troubled life form you have ever laid your sad and sorry eyes upon. Yes, I’m 12, and yes, I’ve tried suicide, but I believe that one is never too young to commit anything. Sitting there, watching my computer screen, thinking to myself, ‘well, I’m out of here now, so long and goodnight motherfuckers’ to the people who are throwing their sincerely dismal hate at me through the form of messenger. Word laid out so simply, so inadequately projected, thrown in my face like they’d never see me again, as if this was their last chance to throw their hate at me. You’d think ‘well, they’ll be friends on Monday’. I’ll sit there and carry on the prospects, I’ll sit and watch. My empathy allows me too take so much of the world around me into my heart, where the crevasses and chasms are already deep enough, and let me, embarrassingly, take it seriously. My strongest weakness, the startling winner beyond all others is my sympathy of myself, my pathetic compassion for my sick self is outside what we call ‘the average’, it’s way to far on for that. But this is where it all began. This is where a tragically appalling internet riot gets slightly out of hand.