I'm a great older brother.

My recently-turned-13-younger-brother bought some candy today, and before I took it I said, "What's about to happen is called bullying." and he just stared at me, so I said "Give me your candy, punk." (only I didn't say "punk") and before he could respond, I took his candy and left with these words: "That's called bullying. I just bullied you. Don't let people at school bully you."

Personally, I thought it was a wonderful life lesson and he should've been proud to have an older brother that was willing to teach him that lesson.

He didn't see it that way though. He ran CRYING LIKE A BABY to our Mom that I stole his candy. I don't even care that he snitched on me, but he called me ugly in the process. I'm not saying I think I'm just the most attractive thing in the world, that's not even the point, but it's the way he said the whole thing.

"JAMESSSSSSESSSSSSSSS UGLY SELF TOOK MY CANDY" and then he called her "mama". And got even more mad when I called him stupid. And then he told my mom that I called him "the p-word! D:"
He said JAME-SES-SES.

I just.
First, I laughed in his face, then I came back upstairs and finished eating his candy.

Really, I'm the best brother.