Just a rant.

I’m not good at letting people in, or out for that matter, because once you let someone in you become vulnerable to that person. Day by day, they end up learning more about you and eventually their knowledge of you is no longer under your control.

There’s an up-side about having someone you can just say things to, instead of keeping it all inside. There sure is, but the more you tell them – the more they have to use against you when it all goes wrong. I’m convinced that everyone’s going to leave you eventually, no one stays in your life forever. Even if they just die, they’re still gone – they still left.

If they just choose to leave you, it hurts – but for most people leaving isn’t enough, there has to be a lot of drama too. A huge fight, with lots of screaming and maybe some name calling. Using the weaknesses you learned about one another against each other… yup, it’s always amazing how friendships tend to end.

When it comes down to those fights, I like to be either the one to have the last word or have the satisfaction of knowing I’m not the one leaving with the most heartache. Probably seems a bit psycho, but it seems to help me deal with the fact that I was dumb enough to leave my guard down for another waste of time.

Yup.