At the Bottom of Everything

So it's graduation time. And here I am a high school drop-out. I see all my old friends on facebook in their graduation gowns & caps, talking about the colleges they want to go too.

Am I ashamed? Yes, yes I am.
Why? Because I feel like a failure. A huge fucking failure.
I don't talk to my old friends..I don't even try to make new ones.
I question where am I going to be in the future..Am I going have a job? A home? A somewhat normal life?
I don't think I will.

I don't like want I've done so far with my life. I already have so many regrets.
I also don't wanna spend all of time thinking about what I could have done, full of "what if's".
I'm stuck in this hole of self loathing.

What can I do? What I am I good at? The answer is, I don't fucking know.
I feel like my whole life is a big I don't know. All 16 years of it.
People tell me I'll go far in life, I've got this spark in my eyes.
And it's just shit load of lies. It's what they tell every drop-out. The truth is I'll be working at some fast food place flipping burgers, living with my mom.

I dream about making art, films. Beautiful films.
But I doubt I will ever go any where.

Look at me, I'm a fool full of self doubt.
Whining about my life.

-Vonn

"Middleman" - Bright Eyes