realizing I've changed since being with my boyfriend.. :\

I'm a completely different person...
I never used to be like this, I used to be so outgoing and happy, yeah I had my moments but I was really happy. I had fun and laughed all the time. Now it's lucky you get a smile out of me...

I love my boyfriend I really do, but it seems that even though I am happy with him I'm just not the girl I used to be... I'm always being a bitch or in a bad mood, I'm either paranoid or depressed.. and I always take things out of him. It's not the person I want to be. Not at all!

My heart constantly feels like it's breaking because I'm paranoid, I hate being paranoid.
I've turned into the kind of person I hate!

I don't know why I've become like this, I've known my boyfriend years and I trust him completely but I constantly have thoughts in the back in my head, that maybe one day he'll get bored and not want me anymore or something stupid like that. He's always telling me I'm being stupid to think it but I can't stop.

We get into arguments about it and I feel bad for being like this but I actually can't help it, I wish I could stop feeling this but I can't, I've tried but I can't :(

I just want to be the happy me again, the one who'd go out and have fun without a care in the world :(