unexpected...

So, as my first blog entry, I thought I would make it pretty meaningful. On Wednesday, I suffered a loss like I have never known. Of course, I've had people close to me die, but I always knew it was coming, and I expected it. This time, no one saw it coming.

I was having a great day, getting good feedback on the schools in the states that I wanted to apply to for September of 2013. Just as I got off the phone with the second school, a number I didn't recognize phoned my house. When I answered it, they asked for my mom's boyfriend. I told the woman that he was on vacation. She mentioned that she was under the impression that his best friend, a man I call my uncle, had passed away.

Of course, I didn't want to bother my mom and her boyfriend on their vacation, but I had to know for sure. With shaky hands and my voice trembling, I called my mom to see if her boyfriend had heard anything. He had made a phone call to confirm, but I had already knew. I felt it. A piece of my heart broke. He had a heart attack while he was driving home.

It's been two days and I still can't wrap my head around it. I still can't picture it. My Uncle Paul is gone. I sometimes find myself thinking, "Oh, he's just at work, he'll be home tonight and I'll see him on Sunday." But today really confirmed what I had been trying to avoid. I saw him laying in a casket, looking peaceful, but lifeless. As I looked around, I found his companion for the past 17 years, my Aunt Trixie, and ran to her. I held onto her, for how long, I have no idea, sobbing. I couldn't believe it, I didn't want to believe it. This loss has taken a toll on me like no other. I know that I will find myself saying "let's go to Uncle Paul's" some Sundays, or asking Steve, my mom's boyfriend, if he was going golfing with him on Mondays.

One thing this made me realize is life is too short. I obviously realized it before, but this made it all more vivid. I will spend more time with my mom, and talk to my brother more. I will live everyday like it's my last, so one day, I can see my Uncle Paul again, singing crazy folk songs with the guitar, or play board games.

To end this post, I wrote a poem for him today.. I don't really have a title for it, but here it is...

For all those late nights,
with music in the air.
For all those good times,
with memories to share.

With a smile on my face,
tears flowing my eyes.
I'll remember you, Paul,
and look to the skies.

Gone far too soon,
with life left to live.
You left us with your love,
the world's most precious gift.

We'll be seeing you,
guitars in hand, clubs ready to swing.
Thank you, Uncle Paul,
for letting our hearts sing.

I'll never forget this man, nor should anyone who knew him. He had a spirit like no other, a love of life, that I didn't think I could see out of someone of 58. If I can live my life with only half the happiness he had, I'll be set forever.

I love you Uncle Paul. Your Princess with the finicky palette will never forget you....