Idek

I have this really bad habit of pretending to be happy. I'll swear up and down that everything is fine, when it's not. Like not even close to being fine. I don't know why i can't just be sad like everyone else. But i can't. I'll laugh it off, and tell everyone not to worry. "I'm a tough cookie" "dude, chill out, i'm fine" "Don't worry about me, i'm good". I don't think i've ever answered someone honestly. I've never just been straight up and said "no, i'm not fine, i'm not okay. I'm fucking sad, and yeah."

I don't get it, really. Like, i'm so blunt. Like ridiculously blunt. But when it comes to stuff like this, everything just changes. Idek.