Hi, I'm Katie

I’m new on here and I just thought it would be right for me to introduce myself.

I’m Katie, I’m 14 and I’m from Ireland. I live in the countryside, beside the sea, on a farm. I have one brother who’s 11. My mum is an art and history teacher, and my dad is a farmer and a taxi driver. I’m extremely young to be in my year at school, 2 years younger than most people, but I like to think I’m still more mature than most of them.

I’m not really popular, but I’m not exactly unpopular either. I have two or three really close friends and then a wide group of friends and acquaintances. I’m quite smart (not in a cocky way). I get good grades, mostly A’s and B’s, an occasional C in Maths. I’m not really that sporty, I play hockey and football but I’m not particularly good at either.

Music makes up a huge part of my life. I spend most of my time either listening to music or doing music related things. I started to play guitar a year ago and it kind of changed my life. Its probably the only thing in my life that I’m 100% happy about.

I have very low self confidence, mainly because since I was six I suffered from severe acne and skin conditions. I never felt happy in my own skin, and even though now, eight years on, I have no acne left, the scars still remain. Apart from the obvious physical ones on my face and neck, the emotional ones remain too. I was always the “ugly friend”. I’d accepted it even though I knew it was wrong. I really thought I was ugly to the core, even though people often told me otherwise. I was self harming myself in more ways than one.

But I think I’m almost better now. I’ve accepted that I can be beautiful if I try, and that it’s what’s on the inside that counts (corny, right?). I’ve stopped cutting and self harming in general, and the reason I’ve decided to post this is because today I noticed that the skin on my arms is smooth. Scarless. And it also made me remember that the one and only thing that ever made me feel better than cutting was writing. So here I am, writing. And I know it’s only a vague biography of my very non-important life, but I think that making an account here is just one small step towards being fully healed.

My writing is going to vary, but hopefully there will be quite a lot of it. I have two and a half months of holidays left, and a two week trip to America somewhere in between. I’ll be going to Disneyland and also spending a week in New Jersey, hometown of my idols, My Chemical Romance (so be prepared for a lot of crazy fangirling as I stalk the hometowns of Frank Iero, the Way brothers and Ray Toro).

I’m quite a creative person, I often win prizes and awards for my writing but I never really bothered to put much effort into it until now. I have tried writing fanfics before, and it ended quite badly. I’d written 4 chapters when I noticed that most of the “fiction” I was writing was actually events in my own life, twisted into a new light. So I stopped. And of course, I plan on writing an occasional bit of fanfic but I don’t want to focus on writing just it. I just want to focus on writing. That’s all.

I doubt anyone will even ever read this. But to be honest, I didn’t write this to be read. I wrote this because to me it is, as Hayley Williams perfectly puts it, “soul vomit”. I just wanted to let it all out. So if you are reading this, and if you did make it this far, then I commend you. And I thank you. And I warn you; there is a lot more to come.

xokatie