Long distance relationships.

I've been in a long distance relationship for over a year now. It seems that whenever I tell anyone that my boyfriend lives 6 hours away, I get bombarded with the following:

You know long distance never works, right?
How do you know he's not cheating?
Why don't you just find someone closer, can't you find anyone around here?
How do you stand it?
Don't you miss each other?
Aren't you afraid he'll forget about you?
How do you make it work?

I've learned not to get offended by any of these anymore. I would imagine it's hard to understand how LDR's work when you've been able to see your significant other on a daily basis in every relationship you've ever been in. And I do admit, I can't help but get a little jealous/frustrated when my friends complain about how much they miss their boyfriend...when he just went to the store or left for work.

The key to long-distance relationships is that both people have to really want it and put in the effort. Communication is everything. My boyfriend and I do skype dates, talk on the phone several times throughout the day, and then all night before we go to bed. We make sure that we each know we want to be together.

As for the "How do you know he's not cheating?" I find this to be a rather strange question. My answer is: Well how do you know someone isn't cheating in a close-proximity relationship? Regardless if you live a short distance away or even if you're living together, you have time that you have to spend away from eachother, right? For things like work, school, going out with friends, visiting family, etc. How do you know they're not cheating during the times they tell you they're doing those things? You just trust that they won't, right? Same deal in an LDR, it's not about knowing, it's about trusting.

My answer to "why not find someone closer?" This is simple. If you truly love the person, this thought doesn't even cross your mind. Do I wish that my boyfriend lived closer? Every single day, of course. But the thing is, I'd rather be in a relationship with him, and only be able to see each other a week or two every other month, than be in a relationship with someone else that I get to see everyday. Because I love him, we have a wonderful healthy relationship despite being 400 miles apart, while couples I know who see each other all the time are constantly on the verge of falling apart.

Of course things get hard and of course we miss each other like crazy. We have rough days and arguments like any other couple. The thing with fights and arguments in LDR's is that before you get off the phone, you have to work through it and talk it out calmly. Never go to bed angry. I've made this mistake before and had horrible anxiety as a result. Like I said before, communication is everything.

This is just something that's been on my mind for a while, since I always get these questions. Long-distance relationships aren't easy at first, the first few months are very hard, I spent them fraught with anxiety and crying. It takes time, effort, money, commitment, and sacrifice. But if you truly love the person, it's all worth it.