I miss you so much already

It's been a while since anyone in my life has died and I guess that's one reason I'm taking this so hard.

I met you when you were seventeen. There is no other way to describe you other than a true joy. You were the realest person I've ever known and you restored a lot of my faith in humanity. You possessed a wit so sharp it could cut glass and went out of your way to make people laugh and feel good, often at your own expense. You were one of the kindest people I've ever known and truly an accepting, open-minded human being.

You had an intimidating mind that no one could touch, far more intelligent than one would initially think and wise beyond your years. You're the only person I know that I could get trashed with one night, then wake up the next morning and debate politics and philosophy with. You opened my mind and enlightened me every time I spoke to you. You inspired me.

It's crazy how I just saw you not long ago, and I was talking to you only a week ago, making plans to chill in the city and then go party in the mountains, and you said you didn't believe in fate but that somehow, the world had brought us together in something that you could only describe as gravity, and I told you I didn't do love or commitment but that in time, when I felt I was good enough for you, I'd be willing to make an exception because you were just so different from anyone I'd ever known and you were like Haley's Comet--a once in a lifetime opportunity.

One day you're here and the next you're gone. This is both surreal and way too real. I'm still waiting for you to update your status on Facebook with something like, "Ha! Fooled you all." Knowing that post will never come devastates me beyond words.

You had a bigger impact on my life than you will ever know and it's only been two days but I miss you so, so, so much. There is nothing I wouldn't give to spend one last day with you. Everyone keeps saying you're in a better place now and you're looking down on all of us, spittin' rhymes and shaking up the clouds. But despite these idealizations, the fact of the matter is you're gone way too soon.

January 24, 1993 - June 29, 2012
July 1st, 2012 at 10:37pm