It's Been Awhile..

It's been two years since I've been on Mibba, and my goodness did it change. Not complaining, looks better actually.

Apart from that, I've made some major changes in my life. I'm graduating with my Vet license soon, and I've moved to the best city I know in Texas, I'm living my life and I honestly couldn't be happier. Well, that's now. A few months ago, I hit the lowest I've ever hit in my life. I lost my job because I have the most horrible stepmother ever. I hate to be rude, but seriously who goes to the extreme of getting you fired from your job because you finally stood up for yourself? Well I can tell you who and that's my evil stepmother. Yeah, I'm going all Cinderella now, but like the story I eventually found my happily ever after. No, I didn't find a prince and marry him and it took me out of the house, I never lived with her anyway but it took me away from that small town that holds her. I moved to a city six hours away and it's all I need right now.

Apart from that, as I was saying, I hit an all time low. Horrible thoughts clouded my head, things I swore I would NEVER think of. It sucked and sometimes it still does, but it's gotten better. I lost faith in God, I lost confidence in myself, I lost so much self-esteem it was ridiculous. It didn't get better till I set a date for my move, and it went away the second I passed the entrance sign to my new home. I just want to say to all of you who are going threw a lot...I know your pain. In the past, I haven't been the best person, at 18 I turned to drinking because it numbed me while I was wasted. I didn't stop either, not until I came here. At a young age I took to drinking, I was so hooked on it, I spiked whatever I was drinking to just numb me enough so I wouldn't feel anything. My problems began at 15, when my first crush made fun of me with some friends, what really hurt was two of my cousins were with them and cracking some jokes too. Yeah, sucked then but now I don't really care. I blame a lot of my issues now on that. Life was miserable for FOUR years. I have a guard up, not just guys notice it, but all my friends notice it. A good friend of mine said, "You're guard is up, and it's not good. You don't like to get close to people." Which is true, I don't. I always get let down. I'm not saying, don't trust anyone, just be careful who you open up to.

As I was saying, I know your pain. Please be strong, and don't stoop to a level you know you cant get out of. It's not worth it, it's not worth the mental and emotional damage. Keep close to your friends, keep close to your family, they are your true angels. I hope you find peace if you are suffering, I hope you find love, I hope you find strength and I hope you find faith.

Be strong dolls<3