I. Am. RAGING.
I was in the middle of ranting about America's Next Top Model, but now I have to start the rant all over again. Seriously, Google Chrome, you disgust me.
Ok, I'm trying to remember how I started the rant. Usually, if my internet decides to be a little bitch and delete my uncompleted post, I wouldn't bother trying to post again, but I was enjoying the rant so much I fear I would be draining something from human society if I did not post the rant. I'm kind of on edge typing this in case it gets wiped again, but if you're reading this right now, it means I posted it successfully. Hurrah.
The Stupidity of the Word "Smizing" in America's Next Top Model
For those of you who don't watch the show and are staring at the word "smizing" with a puzzled expression, I will give a brief explanation.
♦ ANTM (An acronym I will be using from now on, and I'm assuming you're intelligent enough to know what it stands for) is an American reality T.V. show, run by the supermodel Tyra Banks. It is a modelling competition among young girls, who are fighting tooth and nail for the winning title of "America's Next Top Model". To win, they must perform well in photo shoots and also carry out stupid, pointless tasks that don't have anything to with being a model (like having races in the supermarket over who can find the most clothes in an hour, or going on a treasure hunt for hidden shoes, or something equally stupid). There is a panel of four judges, including Tyra, who then carefully examine the photos from the photo-shoots down to the last detail, and then point out flaws or else praise the girl, depending on what she looks like in the photo.
A girl is eliminated once a week, until the final where two girls battle it out and one is declared ANTM. The winner wins a modelling contract and a photo shoot with Tyra herself, and she usually disappears from the public eye for the rest of her life soon after.
♦ Smizing: A word brought into the catwalk dictionary by Tyra Banks, it literally means 'smiling with your eyes'. Here is an example:
A contestant, let's call her Peg (I don't know why it should be Peg, I just feel the time is right to use the name) is facing the judging panel. Her photo is up on the screen, being examined by the four judges. Her face is shown in the photo (clearly photo-shopped) and she is gazing at the camera, maybe with her mouth partly open in a traditionally model-like stance. Then, Tyra says this:
"You know, Peg, I don't see the expression in your eyes. Your eyes are dead to look at. There is no emotion. You have to smile with your eyes, let me show you,"
The camera then zooms up on Tyra's face, and she stares at the camera. She then slightly opens her eyes a bit more, and maybe pouts her lips, and the judges around her collapse and applaud as if she has just cured cancer. The contestant almost cries at the skill Tyra has. Her ability to 'smize' is truly something not found here on this earth, but in the heaven's above (extreeeeme sarcasm).
My Problem with this "Smizing" Farce
Ok, I have watched many episodes, and I've distinguished a few things.
♦First, the whole act of 'smizing' makes no sense. It means to smile with your eyes, right? According to the laws of the english language, 'to smile' is an action you can only do with your MOUTH. Smiling with your eyes doesn't even sound right, and according to the laws of the universe, is impossible to do. You can do all sorts of things with your eyes, like blink or twitch, but, sorry to disappoint you Tyra, you cannot 'smile' with them.
♦ I actually find the whole method of judging the photos by the 'smizing' technique is terribly unfair. A girl looking to the left, maybe she is staring out the window behind the photgrapher, may be praised for her smizing. A girl looking to her right, maybe at a chair in the corner of the studio or something, may be eaten alive because of her 'dead eyes'. Maybe, and I'm not being crazy, the difference between these two girls is that the light from the window caused a gleam in the eyes of the girl looking to the left, and the girl looking to the right didn't have as much light bouncing on her eyes by looking somewhere else?
Or maybe one girl has her eyes wide open, and another has her eyelids a fraction more 'closed'? But really, when I watch the show I notice that the 'smizing' girl was lucky with how the light bounced off her eyes, maybe even from the flash, and the 'dead-eyes' girl simply didn't have the light bounce off her cornea as much?
I may be taking this too seriously, but that's probably because I'm bored, but really, it does annoy me. Now, maybe these judges know their stuff and I am not experienced enough in the knowledge of this immaculate method of 'smizing', but as a viewer, I find it so stupid. If you want the models to show emotion, tell them to smile with their MOUTH for god sake. The modelling world seems to have a fear of actually smiling, but you know what? I think it looks way more appealing. I find a photo of a model with a good smile looks much happier then a model who has shiny eyes and a petulant pout on her lips.
Another thing, Tyra says to achieve a 'smize' you must think of something that makes you happy, like ice-cream. Me and my friend tried this out. We sat facing eachother, and without moving my mouth or any of my face, I had to stare at her, and then after a bit of staring, think of ice-cream.
So I thought of nothing. I stared deeply at her. Then I thought of ice-cream. I stared deeply at her. We were expecting for my eyes to nearly change colour, but instead, the results were more like this:
Expectations:
Normal Thinking:
Ice-Cream Thinking:
Reality
Normal Thinking:
Ice Cream thinking:
So, to finish this rant, I think smizing is undoubtedly pointless. Now, please god, let this post properly...