Bleaching of the hair?

Okay, so I'm not sure but hoping that some of you can help me.

When I was littleish I had a natural dirty blonde hair. It was a decent color, not too bright, but not dark either. I got highlights sometimes but that was it. I got tons of highlights about two years ago but dyed it back dark about 6 months later. Another couple months later I BLEACHED MY HAIR. MY WHOLE HEAD. I BLEACHED IT TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW. Okay, anyways. I hated it and dyed it brown the next night. As you know this was very damaging and destroyed my hair.

About five months later I dyed it red. A months after that I dyed it red again. Four months after that I dyed it dark brown. I told you the history of my hair to ask this question-

I desperately want my little kid natural blonde back. My friend was like, "Strip your hair!" but I've heard that's worse than bleaching. I don't want to go "BAM BLONDE" just a soft color. I'm terrified of bleach and have done the whole lemon juice routine which actually lightened my hair alot, but still. I thought about just getting highlight and gradually going blonde, but I feel like I won't like the outcome.

Any suggestions? I know this was really scatter brained but I'm in a hurry.