Something that has been on my mind a lot recently is the concept of being ‘not trans* enough’. From what I understand there is this criteria for being trans* person. Generally it means that to be a ‘real’ trans* person rather than someone who thinks it’s a cool thing to be you have to desire surgery, hormones, and experience lots of dysphoria.
I am a trans* man. It is not a new thing that I thought would be fun; I had been experimenting with a more masculine identity years before I came to terms with who I am, and have felt much more comfortable in my own skin since coming out. I have no desire for bottom and/or top surgery (although I am considering binding for mostly research purposes.) I do not want hormones. And I typically don’t experience dysphoria unless I am referred to as a female, although I may experience more triggers if I get a more feminine shape due to puberty and/or develop a physical relationship with someone. I did an improvised Sweet Transvestite dance when I walked in the door one day after school. I enjoy singing girl/feminine parts in songs and occasionally play with dolls. Does this make me less of a trans* person, or a man in general? Of course not.
If you genuinely identify with a gender other than your birth sex, then you are the gender you identify with to me. If you don’t want surgery but want hormones, then you are still trans* if that is what you truly identify as. If you tuck but don’t feel comfortable with an actual vaginoplasty then you are a “real” trans* woman (if that is what you identify as.) If you bind but don’t pack, it’s the same thing. Or if you don’t do any method to encourage your gender presentation but still identify as the gender opposite of your sex then that’s who you are.
I don’t like hearing that “Oh, real trans* people wouldn’t let their partner touch their chest” or any other garbage like that. There is no right or wrong way to be trans*.
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I've been really getting into musicals lately. They are just so dang awesome. My favorite musicals are The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Rent.
Rocky Horror is such an amazing movie. I love how absurd it is, I love the songs (including the ones they cut out in the US version and Once In A While), the costumes, the sets, the culture around it, how over all awesome Frank-N-Furter is, I adore Meatloaf, and of course the lips. I'm considering writing a fanfiction about how Columbia joined the Transylvanians.
Rent is simply spectacular. The songs are amazing. I love how it talks about taboo topics like homosexuality and AIDs so openly and honestly. In a lot of other movies and fiction media I see of queer characters in relationships, the whole focus of the the relationship is that it's a queer one. In Rent the queer relationships are treated and viewed by the other characters as just a relationship, no different then a heterosexual relationship. I'm pretty sure the only recognition that some of the characters are queer in the movie (there are more references in the play) is when Mark says his ex-girlfriend had left him for another woman and the use of the term 'life partners' at an engagment party.
For example, the free spirited Maureen and the methodial Joanne are in a relationship that to me is potrayed very well. Joanne resents being manipulated and lied to by Maureen. She also dislikes it when Maureen flirts with other people, while Maureen views Joanne as a control freak for wanting commitment. ("You were flirting with the woman in rubber!" "There will always been women in rubber flirting with me, give me a break.") Yet they still care for each other and don't really want to lose each other, which is shown even in their break up song Take Me Or Leave Me. The potrayal is very honest and I love it.
Another reason I love it is because I can relate to Mark Cohen. He longs to be a part of a community but also wants to be seperate. He feels alone in the wold. My dream to play Mark on stage at least once. I'm already awkward enough! Unfortunatly it's unlikly that we will ever do even the school edition. But I will learn his lines and perform every single line of his im my room one day. Close enough.
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